To make the pulled pork, in a small bowl, combine the sugar, salt, paprika, cayenne, mustard, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and cumin until well combined. Add the pork pieces to a bowl and toss in the seasoning mix until all of the pork is evenly coated.

Place a large skillet or pot over medium-high heat with the oil. Once hot, add the pork pieces in a single layer and brown on all sides. (Alternately, you can also brown the pork in batches right in the Instant Pot, using the sauté feature). Transfer the pork to the bowl of an Instant Pot and set in the machine. Meanwhile, whisk in 1 cup water to the sauté pan to scrape up all the brown bits. Whisk in the vinegar, tomato paste and liquid smoke, if using. Pour the sauce over the pork. Lock the lid and make sure the valve is set to seal. Set to pressure cook on high for 1 hour. Then do a natural release for 10 to 15 minutes.

In the meantime, to make the grits, combine the water, milk, salt and pepper in a medium saucepan and set over moderate heat. Bring to a simmer, making sure it doesn't bubble over, and then slowly whisk in the cornmeal. Cook, over low heat, stirring often, until the grits are tender, about 20 to 25 minutes. Once done, add the butter and stir in the cheese and chopped jalapeños. Give it a taste and adjust seasoning accordingly. Keep warm until ready to serve. If the grits become too stiff, you can whisk in splash or two of warm water to loosen them up.

Once the pork is done and the steam has released, carefully open the lid and transfer the pork to a bowl. Shred with two forks and then add in 2 cups of the cooking liquid and barbecue sauce, mixing until well combined.

To serve, pour the grits into bowls and top with the pulled pork. Then sprinkle on the toppings of your choice! Serve immediately. Enjoy!